I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
How naked do you want me to be?
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