Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
zippers are such a cool invention
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
