By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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