Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
