booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Too much gin, very little bucket
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize