my room smells like sperm. sweet.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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