My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
