I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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