drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Randomize
