Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(703): View more from Virginia

The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."

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(650): View more from California

my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah

(415): View more from California

and she bought it?!?

(650): View more from California

yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes

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(720): View more from Colorado

If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me

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(507): View more from Minnesota

I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest

(610): View more from Pennsylvania

I hate my life now

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