Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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