Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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