I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
