The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize