It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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