well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Randomize
