No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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