just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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