I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
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