I'm sorry my penis didn't work
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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