oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
