her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
When are your genitals available?
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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