Don't you send me to vm
Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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