this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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