I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize