hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
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