He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
