Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
