Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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