I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Never let your siblings swipe right.
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