Don't you send me to vm
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
