the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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