She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I am midnight drunk by noon
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Randomize
