So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
