My brain says no but my pants say off.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
