who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
The power of my boobs compel you
Randomize
