Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I wish there were birth control emojis
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
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