I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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