I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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