I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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