You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize