hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
