I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
