No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
