nut hugger
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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