just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Just invented taco cereal.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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