i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
