it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
My penis needs a shock collar
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Randomize
