Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
