a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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