Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
