Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Couch. On fire.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
