And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
he's single and there are thong briefs.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
