Dude my mom stole all your condoms
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Randomize
