we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
