His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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