put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
