If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
