So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
