My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Randomize
