Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize
