Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
