I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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