i think i have herpe
just one?
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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